Trip To San Diego: Part Three: The Scenery!

Man I loved loved loved California! Here is one of my favorite spots in La Jolla, a beach where Sea Lions like to rest. 

We also went to the Anza Borrega Desert, and man it was neat. There were so many different things to see. 

We explored the land on foot and in the jeep we rented. 

I even bought a hat! 

So many different types of terrain were found in the desert. 

Kevin and Little Miss were a little more adventurous than I was. I did do a lot of exploring as well, but they went to places where I was a little fearful of going. 

This area was very mountainous. 

The Sultan Sea (spelling?) 

Hope you enjoyed! 

Fear Is Not A Good Reason To Say Never

Though I have so much to write about my San Diego trip, my heart is heavy and my mind is deep in thought as a friend or rather an acquaintance I used to go to book club is suffering. She announced some news about her baby girl.

She knew early on that her baby was going to have a heart defect. She knew this would be a long haul and her baby would never heal from this. Today she let us know that her little baby's heart couldn't keep fighting.

My heart aches for her and her husband. I cannot imagine what they are going through, but this brings back old thoughts in me.

Should I really be bringing a child into this world, when there are so many already here who need love?

Although this statement sounds noble, it is not. I realize that my hesitancy is and always has been brought by fear not by nobility. I am afraid to get pregnant, because I fear a miscarriage. I fear being pregnant, because I fear all the horrible things that can happen while you're pregnant, such as preclampsia, which a friend experienced only one short year ago. I am afraid the baby's heart will stop beating. I am afraid the umbilical cord will wrap around the baby. I am afraid the baby will die during childbirth. I am afraid the baby will be born too early. I am afraid the baby will live with a birth defect that causes them to leave too soon. I am afraid.

I have been making this decision all along, out of fear.

In my flawed reasoning, if a child is here and they get sick, it wasn't my selfishness that brought on the illness. I guess, that is why I say I never wanted to be pregnant.

Each scenario I shared, I know someone who has experienced.

I remember someone telling me, isn't the birth of a baby amazing. There are a million and one things that can go wrong, and yet so many are born so perfectly. The problem is, there are many who are not.

So the question lies, should I base my decision on fear.

No.

I want to adopt, I sincerely do. I do feel like God is closing those doors to us. So in vitro is an option he has left the door open. I still hope that foster care will bring us a family, but God knows how our family will be built, and I just need to trust as I walk forward with where I feel he is leading me. Even when I'm scared, even when it hurts, even when I feel like it is hard.

My heart is heavy, please pray for the family of Penelope as she joins Jesus in heaven.

Our Children Are Becoming A Me-Now Society: But Who's Raising Them?

One of the things I hate about our society is how we are a society that wants the world and wants it now! We want to watch our shows, we want to have air-conditioning, we want to have a car that has all the modern amenities, even my own infertility issues is because I WANT IT AND I WANT IT NOW!

The thing is, I often hear people, myself included, talking about this generation as a bunch of spoiled self-indulged people. The thing I have to ask is, well, who is raising them to be this way? Maybe we as parents need to step back and take a good look in the mirror before we start judging this generation that has not yet shown its potential.

This generation has so much promise, they have so many things they could accomplish, so many technological advances, transportation that would allow them to change cultures that are struggling. You know what, they may just do that! They may change this world... but, what have we done?

If we want our children to become active world-changers then what better way than to become active in changing the world ourselves. Pave the way, be the example.

Let's face it, our children do have a lot of luxuries most of us did not have. My own daughter on our recent trip to California was bummed when we switched hotel rooms from a luxury spacious suite to a luxury less-spacious suite. Although these children have a lot of things that make life "easier" they have a lot more that makes life harder.

Yes, we had bullying, we had gossip, we had cliques, but these kids are facing a generation where
one stupid decision can travel through the school in less than 24 hours via texts and the Internet. Yes, we had pressures to look good, be thin, etc, but take a look at what was considered beautiful in the eighties then what is considered beautiful now. In the eighties you'll find tv moms with frizzy hair, average to good looking face, bodies that were beautiful, but attainable. But now, the tv moms are flawless, thanks to advanced make-up and hair products, good lighting, plastic surgery, and the wonders of photo-shop. Our children's idea of what they should look like is so unrealistic.

My point is not to digress, but point out our children have it hard. They may be pampered in many ways, but that's only because they are losing sight, just as we have on what is important. They are put at risk for a lot of things in a way, we can't truly relate. But it's not too late for the children that are growing up, they have so much potential. They just need more people to look up to who truly make a difference, rather than just another good singer with flawless skin (after hours of make-up and photo-editing).

So what does this mean for me? Well, I think I have some things I need to be reanalyzing in my own life. Walk away from this me-now mentality, and maybe just maybe I'll be able to teach my daughter how to do the same.

San Diego Trip: Part Two: Why I Love Weddings!!!!!

 These happen to be two of my favorite people, and two of my three college roommates. The third is also still one of my best friends and we hang out weekly, unfortunately these two have decided to live on the other side of the country. Good in that it gives me a destination to travel, sad in that I don't get to hang out with them often. Man, it was good to see them. I wish I could bring them home with me. They are as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside.

So what brings me all the way to the other side of the country, well aside from these two beautiful gals, Amy was getting married. (The one on the left).

 Her wedding was gorgeous, outside in the beautiful weather. It was a Buddhist celebration and had certain decorations that were specific to their culture. I love being able to enjoy other cultural celebrations than my own. I wish I could have picked somebody's brain to ask the symbolism of the fruit in the front. I know it must have had significance. 

 Erica was her photographer. She had a baby six months ago, doesn't she look great! 

 These two lovely ladies are Amy's best friends from childhood and also two of her bridesmaids: Melissa and Kim. The coolest part is, because Amy is so special to me, I have gotten to become friends with them as well. I actually took one of my all time favorite week long trips with Kim in college when I went to Toronto to see the Lion King (play not a movie.) Amazing!

 More great photos, just hold your computer sideways, totally wish I knew how to turn them on this blog. Ugh! 

Yay!!! I love marriage. I love weddings! I love friends! I love memories! All my favorite things! 

Trip To San Diego: Part One: San Diego Zoo

Man did I have fun at the San Diego Zoo. It might not have been my husband's favorite, but I loved seeing all the different animals. Of course the monkeys and apes are so fascinating to me since they seem to have the most personality. This guy cracked me up because he likes to cover himself with the bags.

We were lucky enough to be able to talk to a lady here who knew the orangutans and other monkey/apes personally. The guy with the sack over the head is grumpy with the other ones at times, since they normally live by themselves in the wild. There was one that likes to put leaves on her head, that is the one below. She's pregnant. Sorry the photo is sideways, I don't know how to fix it in this blog. So just tilt your head. Then there is a mischievous girl that picks on the guy. Oh, I loved hearing the back story. It made the zoo that much more fun. 

 

 There were lots of birds, here is one of the more unique ones. 

 And of course the gorrillas. I took tons of pictures, but this is the only nice one. I don't have a very expensive camera, so you have to take what you can get. 

 Little Miss and I played around with a lot of the statues and stuff. If you want to see more pics of  her, you'll have to go to my Flickr account. Not a fan of showing pictures of my daughter for the world to see. 

 This little guy was super sweet, and probably my favorite. He interacted with people the most. He kept extending his hand out to people to get things from them. This guy kept handing him sticks, and then Kevin and Little Miss followed suit. When a big group of people came, the other guy was still handing him stuff, and this guy, who was not a Zookeeper mind you, said, "There is no interacting with the animals." Okay, there were signs at certain cages, but none at this spot, and this guy wanted fun. He'll never go back to the wild, what is the harm of him having a little fun with the people. Whatever... He still is my favorite little dude. 

 Love the big cats! 

 This guy is in fact smiling! Love it! 

 There is a huge line for the pandas, and they have you take your picture really hyping up the exhibit. Cute, yes, but worth a half hour wait.... okay yes... because I would so do it again. LOL

 This was not an exhibit, just a joy along the way. 

 This one is the guy, which in the wild can be 1700 pounds, he has his fat intake limited so he's sadly only 1100 pounds to keep him from getting too hot. Poor guy, can't be as big as he could in the wild. He has never been a father, but has been attempting with another of the polar bears, which was hiding. They are hoping she is pregnant, but they don't know for sure yet. It's doubtful since she is 19 years old, and they are only fertile until like 20 years old. Also they have been mating for the past 16 years (his entire life) and has not been successful. 

 This girl is the other one's twin sister. She was on birth control when she was younger, for some reason, and then became infertile. So it's possible the San Diego Zoo might never have a baby polar bear in their midst. Let's pray her brother succeeded. 

 Again with the big cats! 

 This is not a llama or an alpaca... but I cannot remember what it was. Anyone else know? 

 Lots of Elephants. What's the difference between an Asian and African elephant? Asian ones have small ears, African ones have big ears, plus they are bigger in general. 

 Little Miss thought it was funny to act like this monster attacked her and was carrying her. :) 

 He's a happy dude! 

 Awww... This one is Miha. She is a sweet girl. 

 Big cats, love the big cats! 

 And we ended the day with reptiles and a camel. Poor camel, one of it's humps is empty.