In Case You Didn't Know, I'm Plus-Sized and Overweight

Did you know I'm overweight and plus-sized. In case you're curious, this is what I look like. Not the best shot, since I'm wearing a coat, but since I'm not into selfies and I'm usually the one behind the camera, this was the best full-body shot I could find. I am curvy, which you can't tell here, so I have a narrow waist, and well you can see how wide my hips are. Not terribly, but I do wear a size ten jeans. So does this plus-sized model. Yes, apparently size 10 makes you plus sized, and at 160 pounds on my 5'7 1/2" frame causes me to be one pound overweight.

When I think of plus-sized, I think of the XL section of the store. In case you're wondering, my shirts range from Small to Large, dependent on the brand, and my pj pants are always Large, more because Medium is too short and that annoys me. In other words, a woman who could potentially wear a Small T-shirt at some stores is considered plus-sized. 

Do you find anything wrong with that? 

Now, I do normally wear medium and large, but I have had to exchange for a small on more than one occasion. I personally feel, I should not look at the size, but how it looks on me. Because as far as I am concerned S stands for Sensational, M stands for Magnificent, and L stands for Lovely. So yes, XL would definitely be extra Lovely. Don't you think? 

But that's not the way our culture thinks. We instead are obsessed with size and weight and we like to claim that well-proportioned women are plus-sized. 

Granted, if I lay off the cookies (oh I love cookies) and drank less milk (which I drink at every supper) I'd probably shed five pounds in a year, but the truth is, I don't want to.

Nor do I think I should be told I am plus-sized or overweight. I work out the recommended three two times a week for thirty to forty minutes a day. Yes I have room for improvement, but overall I'm healthy. We need to stop focusing on weights and numbers, and we definitely should stop telling our girls that women like me are overweight or plus-sized. I'm not even saying plus-sized is a bad thing, but if I'm considered plus-sized, what is someone who wears size 16 and up pants considered or actually wears XL clothing?

According to the BMI charts, I should weigh between 118 and 159. The problem with that scale is I know what I look like at 125 pounds. For my friends who knew me when I was ill, and people who saw my wedding photos and asked me if I was anorexic, I weighed 125 pounds the six months prior to getting married. I literally did not eat (tube-fed) for three of those months due to surgeries and complications. At 135 pounds, people would often comment on how small-framed I was, it wasn't until I reached 145, I stopped getting comments on how thin/sickly I looked. I was not healthy at 135, and I sure wasn't healthy at 125.

Personally, I think 145 to 150 is my ideal weight, but my ideal weight isn't the issue at hand. The issue at hand is that girls are being told that people like me, are plus-sized. We need to stop focusing so much on body-image and focus on health and healthy choices. I will never wear a size four jeans. Literally, when people thought I was anorexic, I wore a size six jeans. My hips are too wide, even with barely any fat on them. It's just not going to be me.

We need to stop worrying about our weight, and worry about the stuff we put in our bodies and the stuff we do to our bodies. We also need to change the way we view beautiful. Why does a woman who is gorgeous, but wears size ten jeans considered plus-sized? Because we live in a country where thin is beautiful, even when thin is unhealthy. 

On the flip side, my sister-in-law is considered underweight by BMI standards (before she got pregnant anyway), despite her very healthy relationship with food. I remember her telling me of people asking her if she was anorexic. If you knew her, you would know she is not. Yet, she has a very beautiful face that is full and not thin. She just happens to have a slender build, but it's healthy. You can tell by the fat in her cheeks and the healthy glow of her skin. Yet, people so badly want to make themselves feel that just because she is naturally thin and they are not, there must be something wrong with her. 

We need to stop trying to fat-shame and even thin-shame other women. Instead, I think we should remind ourselves of two of my favorite verses: 

1 Samuel 16:7 - But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD look at the heart."

Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.  

 Maybe it's not as much of our distorted view of outward beauty, but our distorted view of beauty altogether. Is the person who has flawless skin and a perfect body, yet quick to twerk in front of millions and not shy to flip the bird truly beautiful. 

Beauty is the woman who radiates love. Who is patient and kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, nor rude, nor self-seeking, not easily angered, does not keep records of wrongs, does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth, protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. I think we would be much better off if we stopped focusing on accepting ourselves and our body shape, and instead focused on what really matters. That's the change we need to make. If we took the energy we put in front of the mirror and at the gym, and put it towards loving one another, I think there would be a lot less body issues in our culture.