I Wish I Was George Bailey

It's a Wonderful Life will always be one of my all time favorite movies, because I hope that I am like George Bailey. I hope that the sacrifices I make, the decisions I make, the people I love have an impact.

I have to admit, many times I feel purposeless. I am a three time college dropout with no end in sight, no real career, I have big dreams, but chose a different path for reasons I couldn't control. Although I am so incredibly blessed with people in my life and happy ninety five percent of the time, every so often when I look in the mirror, I am discouraged by who looks back at me. Yet I will continue to trudge forward. Teaching my daughter how to be independent realizing that my goal is essentially to make my role no longer needed, preparing her for a world independent of me.

I am going to continue to try to make the best decisions possible. I'm going to try to keep loving people even when the love is not returned. I'm going to work every day trying to achieve my goals while still putting what is most important first. I'm going to forgive even when I'd rather be the one forgiven. I'm going to be the best me I can be, and when I fail, brush myself off and start all over. I'm going to try to always do what is right, not what is easy. I'm going to hope that my existence on this earth is more of a blessing than a curse.

I guess I identify with George Bailey. He wanted a different life, but chose the one he had because he felt it was the right thing to do. It made a world of a difference. I know my life has not saved an entire town from the corrupt hands of a ruthless man, I have not saved a person's life, heck I have not even created life, but I do hope that my existence was important enough that at the end of my life, God will be glad I was here. Yet, there are those brief moments when that person in the mirror looks back at me and I think, "maybe I chose the wrong path."