It Takes a Village to Raise a Child: Or So It Should

Too many young mothers are mothering alone. I am not talking about dad's leaving, although that happens way too often, but I'm talking about the even bigger alone. Yes, many women rely on advice from books and magazines, some rely on friends with kids, while others are all alone.

There is something greatly missing in our society that God has instructed us to do, which is found in Titus 2:3-5. It tells women to mentor younger women in the relationships with their husbands and children. This verse is not referring to older women bossing the younger women telling them the right and wrong way to raise a child, criticizing and directing. It says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, and the word of God may not be reviled. 

Notice it says that older women teach what is good and to train the young women to love their husbands and children. This is very specific. God doesn't care if we feed our children organic or store bought food. He does not care what educational tools we give our children. He does not care whether we potty train at one or three. What he does care is that we not only love with our hearts, but love our husbands and children with our actions.

I am blessed in that I have a mother who guides me, encourages me, and helps teach me how to love my daughter. So many families are missing this. Grandmothers either are too busy with their own lives, or they focus way too much attention on spoiling their grandchildren that they neglect supporting their own children in the raising of the grandchild. Love is more than hugs and kisses, but disciplining in a loving, respectful manner.
Too often, moms are so busy keeping up with sporting events, work, chores, cooking, cleaning, play dates, etc. that we are unable to stop and just love our children. More than that, we also don't have others stopping and loving us either.

My mom has done a great job in that when I want to talk about my struggles with my daughter she listens. She also reminds me that my daughter is just a little girl. She focuses her time on my daughter, when she sees I need to focus time on me. She focuses her time on me, when I need someone to talk to. I am also fortunate that I have many older women in my life, including my husbands family, my aunts and grandmother, friends from my old church and my new church. I am blessed, I have this amazing support system that helps me not only know how to love my husband and my daughter, but allows me to breathe so I have more energy to expend love on my husband and daughter.

Many lovely women I know are lacking this support. They are mothering without guidance. No one steps up to listen, support, and love. We need more love in our society. We need to be more family-centered and community-centered. We've lost that in our busy haste in this world.

Another great verse that reminds us to support the younger generation:

1 Peter 5:1-5 - So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”